Speechless. For months,
As the snow waned to slush and gutter water.
As agonal discord bled into nebulous guilt
And the crimson of raw regret
Mellowed with latent relief.
How does one encompass the shattering
Need for change?
The protracted grief of an
Immeasurable loss arduously chosen?
The skins of bitterness left to the wind
After a fracturing of being?
Choked by the inadequate
Effluvia of words, I inhabited
A singular silence, an owned silence,
Muteness birthed from an inexplicable void,
From a paradoxical necessity – withdrawal from
One so wholly Loved.
In the lull, the flotsam of variegated thoughts,
While a gauzy light perfused the quiet darkness,
I remained dumbstruck, for months,
Unable to conjugate a nascent fullness of breath
With the familiar wash of warmth that still occurs
When I see your face.